💀 Don’t Let Your Rations Kill You (Or Your Taste Buds)

🍴 What Are Emergency Rations, Really?

We ain’t talkin’ your vegan cousin’s hiking snacks. Emergency rations = food that keeps your ass upright when the world’s on fire. Calories. Shelf life. Portability. And zero room for tofu.

💰 Store-Bought Slop: Convenient Crap Or Crisis Candy?

👍 The Good:

• 🧊 Shelf life that outlasts your ex’s grudges (25+ years)

• 🛠️ Rip, eat, survive—zero brainpower required

• 🧳 Packs small, hits heavy (calorie-wise)

👎 The Bad:

• 🧂 Sodium bomb—goodbye kidneys

• 💸 $12 for pasta you could make for 30 cents

• 😬 Texture of cat puke, taste of regret

🧠 Bear’s Take:

Store-bought’s like that buddy who shows up late but brings a shotgun—unreliable, but sometimes necessary. Keep a few in the stash, but don't count on 'em.

🧑‍🌾 DIY Rations: The Meal Prep That’ll Save Your Damn Life

👍 The Good:

• 👨‍🍳 You know every single ingredient (and none of ‘em bark)

• 🪙 Cheap as dirt if you do it right

• 😋 Taste? Like grandma made it... if grandma was a bushcraft badass

👎 The Bad:

• ⏳ Takes time, elbow grease, and some know-how

• 🐛 Screw it up and your chili might walk off by itself

• ❄️ Needs a cool, dark place (no, not your soul)

🧠 Bear’s Take:

This is the real MVP. Your rations should scream, “I’m ready,” not “please don’t kill me.” DIY is how you earn your prepper stripes.

🏹 Bear’s Battle Plan: Hybrid Stockpile That Slaps

1. 🎯 Go 70/30 – 70% DIY you can trust, 30% commercial for “oh crap” scenarios

2. 🧂 Season it up – Morale matters. No one survives the apocalypse eating plain rice

3. 📅 Rotate or regret it – Eat what you store, store what you eat

4. 🔥 Test drive it – “Crisis Dinner” once a month: light the lantern, kill the power, eat from the stash

💣 Pro Tip: The Vacuum Seal + Oxygen Absorber Tango

Don’t let air rob your stash blind. Hit every DIY pack with an O2 absorber, vacuum seal it, label it with a Sharpie, and store it like it's grandma’s bourbon—dark, dry, and outta sight.

🪵 Cabin Wisdom From Your Boy Bear

You got two kinds of rations: the kind that feed your future and the kind that remind you you’re dying slowly. Choose wisely, partner.

Stay Prepped, Stay Ferocious,
Conrad “Bear” Becker

P.S. Ever eaten a ration so bad it made you question life? Tell me. No shame—just stories and maybe a little revenge vomit. 🤮